Oh Hell...

I love ELLE.

The fat, fat, fat September issue -- with rehab patient Lindsay Lohan on the cover -- tips the scale 592 pages. The only thing in fashion allowed to be plump is a September fashion issue. Anything else needs to go on a serious broth and lettuce leaf diet.

But I digress.

Flipping through the beginning pages, I couldn't help but stop and envy Leanne Shapton, who is ELLE's resident jet-setter overseeing the "Style Dispatch" column. Shapton's job is to fly to ultra-luxurious destinations -- this time being Deia, Mallorca -- on the magazine's dime (a major feat) to basically eat, sleep, shop, sightsee, get inspired and paint gorgeous scenery to be laid out on the published page next to digital pics of her having "oh my god, soooooo much fun" while you're not as much.

And she gets to bring along her undoubtedly hot boyfriend for the ride.

So...how do I get that job, ELLE Magazine?

* Now I'm off to drown my sorrows in make-up and champers at tonight's event at the MAC store on Robson with Saritz and her friend J.








* Photo property of elle.com and is used solely for commentary purposes